Providing hope through Recovery
- Amanda Lee
- Apr 21, 2019
- 5 min read
So I have been going around the states to try and organize more education on multiple formats of issues plaguing society. You see when this all began I was merely a mother trying to prevent my children from falling victim to the circle and continuing the stigma. I found a voice through facing my fear and stepping up to the plate because I believed in Shattering the Stigma and I also found an amazing curiosity when it came to what happened to those featured on intervention, you see I used this show as motivation to stop using crack and to escape from sex trafficking and rid myself of addiction also gang life related activity I have done many of things that I resent doing as a result of my environment and messed up thinking so I redeem myself facing addiction and being a silent journalist sharing the amazing adventures surrounded by being empathetic to other peoples journeys. I believe in the use of cannabis as an alternative to pain medicine and psychotropic pills that can lead to more neurons being damaged that already are fractured you see I went misdiagnosed for years and was pretty much sedated so that people did not have to deal with me. I remember the battles I faced with the pills from the time I was 13 after escaping the child sex trafficking scene. I have been blessed to maintain an optimistic view and please it enrages me when people take pity on me I am a very strong activist and have no issue in enlightening others on exactly how passionate that I am behind this stand that I have established welcome to the Renegade factor!
Find Your Happiness: Featured in one of the first forums I displayed my writing ability and began to reach out to inspire others by giving positive feedback and also using my strengths and weaknesses to establish a connection. Thank you Liam for the beginning opportunity in letting me shine.
"I want to share a few tips that I have found to help me find the courage to become motivated towards bettering myself. The first thing that I did was forced myself to look within and say 15 traits about myself that I admired. I constantly spent so much time being stuck in sadness that I refused to see anything positive. This was the hardest thing that I ever did because I was so hard on myself that I just avoided looking in the mirror, now I am able to look at myself in a new reflection. I went through a lot of struggles growing up and as some of you know my story has been shared on the forum. I was challenged to take accountability for my mistakes; I am stubborn and was like okay I don't care what people think about me to begin with. I was tired of portraying a simpler version of myself to challenge people trying to push them away. I now embrace the people I am blessed to have around me and I realize that this world is too short to hold on to the dark shadows that kept me trapped within my addiction. I really did not realize how serious my issue was until I began hearing more about addiction because where I came from I was sheltered from that well not sheltered naive I guess you could say. I think even without the drugs that my life would have spiraled like it did just because of how unhappy I was. I had to live up to certain expectations yet I had no clue where those expectations began. So I used to sit back and say I just want someone to hold my hand and say I understand, nothing more nothing less. I started looking at the lifestyle I was leading and I still went through with the crazy ideas but because I guess I needed to in order to perceive the concept that I now embrace. I am not going to say that life is perfect because in all honesty there are some aspects that suck but there are others that are great and would not be possible had I not went through with the ideas that I have been embracing. I started this journey and I will not lie because I was angry at all of the accusations that were being thrown around knowing that no one in my family even had a clue the person I was they were speculating so when they wanted to toss out rumors I wanted to correct them with my facts, so I went on You Tube and posted an idea that later transpired into a much larger cause. I completely let everything that I did be known, this was my beginning and I noticed I felt better. In life everyone wants to analyze everything and everyone I was no different I had to realize that there was nothing wrong with me as a person I just was destined for huge things this is what allowed me to be as indestructible as I am. My story brings me to this point all my life I spent in the shadows feeling like I was just a dark cloud on this world but even little old me Miss Irrelevant, one voice, won't make any difference if I wasn't here, are you reading my words? Am I sitting here sharing the fact that even through the hardest fight that someone has went through something similar. I challenge you whether you are active in your addiction and thinking I can't feel like this anymore, whether you are just beginning your journey, or you have been in recovery for sometime, share one lesson that you learned or one bad thing that led towards a positive, speak up say how you feel this is what we are here for. I was afraid to touch anything to care about anyone because I felt like I was nothing but evil, but the last 5 years since I decided to completely rid myself of the demons that were trying to hold me back and I don't mean the mental demons, which brings me to the next part when you actually are ready to make that change you have to completely remove yourself from the people who you used to hang out with and until later on in recovery it is best not to date a fellow addict simply because sometimes this can hold us back. I was not active yet I was dating someone who was and became disgusted by the actions and well I deal with that on a constant basis. Since I changed my whole environment it allowed me the ability to see on an outside perspective yes I had so much hurt and pain yesterday. Today I have so much more I spoke at my cousin's wedding, I now write and let my thoughts be heard by others who actually are curious to see what I have to offer. I have 4 amazing children who think mom is cooler than superwoman because I continue to overcome and I don't hide from them which allows them to see me as the imperfect superhero that learned how to overcome her kryptonite. I feel at peace because I let go and moved on from a sadness into not being able to wait to see what each day has for me to learn and share and to educate my legacy so that when the time comes I can continue this path and allow them to help fight the crusade to the next level. <3 You don't have to remain stuck in misery you can be happy and the only way that truly happens is if you become content from within. Find your happiness."

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